Hey there, Stranger!

Hi! It’s been quite a while since I last posted something here. I’ve been so busy with life lately. Yes, you heard that right. Life is finally happening to me. I’ve been working in a call center company for almost 2 years now as a Resolution Specialist in one of the biggest department stores in America.

Anyways, after 2 years of working, sleepless nights, thousands of calories I have consumed and 17 pounds of weight I have gained; I realized that having a job comes with a lot of responsibilities. Bills, rent, food and all. I think I about them all the time now. They are a constant reminder why I need to work harder, especially now that my sister lives with me. God, you have no idea how hard it is to support a college student. Good thing I have my father who still supports us.

I know I have been on a very long hiatus, but I’m back now! Hopefully I can update this at least every week. Well, let’s see.

Until next time!

Late 20's

Just 3 more weeks and I’ll be turning 27. Wow. 27. I can’t even say that out loud. It’s just too painful to hear. But then again, aging is something that you cannot stop. You just have to accept the fact that every year, your age will add up.Birthday wish list has always been a part of my routine every year. Sometimes I get to receive at least one or two items from my wish list, but most of the time I get nothing. Nada. But that’s why it’s called wish list, right? You get to wish something nice for your self and you just let the odds to be in your favour. This year, I listed some of the things that I really need. Let’s start with:

1. French Press – I love coffee, but I am deeply in love with tea, especially loose kind of tea. I still have a can of loose green tea that my friend, Hyden, got me from China. And I really wanted to use it with my new French Press. See what I did there? I’m already claiming that I’ll be getting a new French press! Positivity, guys. Positivity.

2. Any kind of herbs  or a vegetable in a pot( like tomato, eggplant, okra etc..)
– Cooking is one of the things that I most love. I’m proud to say that I got my cooking skills from both sides of my family. And if you would ask, “why herbs”? Because I love its freshness, especially when I add a freshly chopped Italian parsley or lemon/sweet basil leaves in my pasta dishes. You know, sometimes if you eat the same thing all over again, you’ll get tired of eating it. Believe me. So spice up your dishes with the help of fresh herbs! Naks.

3. Books – Could be old or new as long as it’s a good read. But if somehow you find a Charles Bukowski book, please do buy it for me. I’d be more than willing to pay for it. I’ve been dying to get a hold of one of his books and I’m running out of luck already. Like, seriously. Okay moving on... My love for book started when I lived with my Nanang (my grandmother from my father side) ages ago. She doesn’t just read a book, she would  devours it and meticulously reading every single word. She also thought me how to drink beer with coke, so yeah. There goes the pros and cons.

4. Knitting tools – This is so lola of me. I don’t know if it comes with the age but I’m really starting to like doing lola stuff. Whenever I watch knitting tutorials on youtube it always put a smile on my face. Yeah, maybe it really does comes with the age.

5. A Labrador – I like a big dog that I can cuddle and snuggle with. I’ve been wanting to get my self a Labrador, but the timing was just not right. Plus, you know, they are quite expensive. Now that I’m in my new place, I think I can get myself a cute baby lab. This one though, is a special wish and I want to give this to myself as a gift. But of course, I’ll save up first. Haha

 6. Clear jar with a cap – I just moved into my new place. It is quite small so I need to practice the art of organizing. Oh, and no, I’m not asking for a Mason jar because those are pretty expensive. Just a plain clear jar, big or small, will do.

7. A ¾ inch plywood – Don’t ask why. I just needed it. Oh, can I borrow a saw?

8. Power tools – Maybe I’ll just ask my father about this. Or better, I’ll just get his power tools at home.
 (This wish list is a little bit weird, don’t you think?)

9. I’m not really into gadgets and all that shiny stuff, but if someone would give me one then I’ll be more than happy to accept it with a smile on my face and a wink. Well, lets make that a two winks!

And that’s just about it. Hopefully, this year I get to receive at least 3 or 4 from my wish list. And again, I’m quoting one of my favourite lines from one of my favourite books, “May the odds be ever in my favour.”

Late 20’s. Yuck. I mean, YAY! Here’s to aging! J

There's no place like home.

Hello, there!

I’ve been quite busy these past couple of months. I finally moved into to my new place. Yay! And  had this weird allergy attack. Nay!

I’ve been wanting to have a place of my own. A place a can call home. I’ve been renting (bed space) for almost a year and I thought I should take this to a notch, and by a notch I mean renting my own place. Believe me it was not easy. Where I used to stay, it has everything: cable tv, WiFi and it also includes water and electric bill. I don’t have to think but sleep and eat and all that shit. But that place was just too far from my workplace. Good thing my best friend, Arvin, introduced me to his friend who has this place that’s been abandoned for ages. He told me it was used to be a water refilling station, so I already set my expectation. I knew for a fact it’ll be dusty and all, but it was far from what I expected. Really. Words can’t explain. And that’s the reason why I had this allergy attacked. The doctor said it was because of the allergen or something. Whatever. All I know is I have now all these spots on my arms and neck that will take a lifetime to fade. Oh, plus I had to take steroids for 7 days. Lucky me.

Okay, enough with the allergy. I’m over it now. Let’s go back to the best part. So when I went to see the place, I immediately fell in love with it. Remember when they say, “Don’t believe unless you see it”, well the place was not entirely a refilling station. The place where I’m supposed to be renting is actually located at the back of the refilling station. There you are, a cute tiny one bedroom apartment. I immediately saw its potential. And then I started thinking of the things I should be doing with the place. I knew it will look, if not exactly, like those rustic apartment pegs I’ve been pinning on Pinterest. Originally, I wanted a white apartment with black accent to it, but the tiles were blue so I had to think of something else. I thought, why not a light brown accent? And it works just fine!

Moving in to a new place, buying all the things you needed; those were not the easy part. Believe me, it sucks to see your pay-check go drown the drain in just one day. And there were some days where I think if I’m doing the right thing, but since I’m already in the action, then might as well finish what I started. My place is not yet done though, no furniture yet. It’s just me, my laptop, and my white walls for now. My place is still a work-in-progress. It’ll be my small project. Hopefully, before my sister moves in this coming August, my place will be all set. I still have a 4 months to prepare though. Wish me luck!

Here's a sneak peek of my new digs!

With its flaws and all. I love my ugly-pretty kitchen window!  

#thefatlifechoseme: Oh My Gulay

Food consumes me. Yes, it's really the other way around. Food is one of my weaknesses. It's my kryptonite. That's why I always push myself to do a little bit of exercise every now and then because if I don't, well, you know what will happen next. I'm not genetically skinny like some of the others who can eat whatever they want and not gain weight. I wish I was, but clearly, my pot belly is the major proof that I'm not.

Enough with me. Let's talk more about food. Last February 5, 2015, I went back to one of my favorite restaurants here in Baguio. It's been a while but the place remains the same, especially my favorite, Anak ng Puttanesca. Clever name, right?

I still don't know though why they use cheddar cheese instead of parmesan. But then again, that's just me.

I like my pasta with loads of chili flakes, but unfortunately the ran out. So, I'm left with ground pepper. But nonetheless, it still tastes good! 

And my juice was equally tasty. 

The menu

 Take a look at this artsy restaurant. 

The view

Wow ha. I'm really taking this blog thingy seriously na. Haha Anyways, since one of the things that I'm good at is eating, expect a lot of blog posts about food. 

Random Thoughts I

It's amazing how one's life can change so much in such a short period of time. It's exactly 10 months since I got into my first job and my life couldn't be more different now. Not just my life, really. I am become different. But it's a good kind of different, you know? Some nights when I'm lying on my bed waiting to fall asleep, I just think about my life in general; and sometimes I specifically think about who I used to be and what type of person I'm turning into. It now amazes me whenever I think of the shitty things I'd done in the past, things that now haunts me, things that I certainly wouldn't do anymore at this point in my life. But if given a chance to go back, I believe I wouldn't change anything nonetheless. Why? Simple because every single shitty decisions I had made has brought me here. And I like it here. I like the me now. I'm in my late 20's and I haven't majorly f*cked up my life. I'd done things I shouldn't be proud of, but who hasn't? I do get some panic attack every now and then when I think of the FUTURE (because let's get real. that thing is scary), but I'm teaching my self to calm down because I'm still young. And it's not like I'm throwing my life away. I have a job. So, not bad at all.

I can't say that there are no more bad days, but there's been huge improvement. Perhaps I've learned to love myself a lot more. Perhaps I'm looking at the world from a different perspetive. Perhaps it's a lot of little things that, when put together, are giving me the ability to truly appreciate life. Whatever it is, I'm gonna hold on to it tight. Because this is one of the best feelings in the world.

A penny for my thoughts

I haven’t been in the mood to post anything these past few months because I was too busy trying not to drown. But here I am now. This is not a happy blog entry though.

Last year was a rough year for me. It was basically blow after blow, and it doesn't matter how positive you try to be. The negativity always catches up. And then here comes 2015 and I still feel like I'm reliving the same thing over again. It's a vicious cycle I must say. 

It may not have seemed that way to other people because I'm good at hiding my feelings, but I can’t blame them. I’m not one to open up, not even to some of my closest friends. I went through a lot of bad days, trying to fight my inner thoughts. But earlier, I came across this quote and it perfectly describes my situation. 

"Note to self: every time you were convinced you couldn’t go on, you did." ―Destiny S.

To be fair, I had more good days than bad ones this year. But, of course, when you’re in the middle of a bad one, you completely forget all the things that make you happy and you should be thankful for. At least, that’s what happens to me. But I did go on. I did move forward. And I’m glad I did. Plus, It's a good thing that I have a job now, cos it somehow distracts me from all the chaos.

This is just a glimpse of my life and my thoughts. I don’t think I’ll ever fully explain what I’ve gone through to anyone because I don’t even know where I would begin. And because I don’t like feeling vulnerable. I don’t like exposing my deepest emotions. And maybe that’s the reason why I’d rather pretend that I can’t feel. Sometimes I’m not even sure I’m pretending. Sometimes it feels like I’ve mastered the art of indifference whenever I’m around other people.

But the truth is this: I do have feelings. I’m vulnerable. I’m a wreck. I have hurricane of emotions.

I don’t know what’s going to happen to me in the next few years. I just hope I’ll have the strength to go on again and again.

Prom: Part 2

I was supposed to blog this last week, but I've been bus lately. But hey, better late than never, right?

Our day started pretty early because we had to be at the reception (CSI Stadia) at around 3 in the afternoon for my sister's Prom pictorial. I had her salon appointment set at 11 in the morning.

 Spot the not.

I love how fashiown  the make-up artist. Leather skirt! 

I was already getting bored so, I thought, "why not take a selfie?"

My butt was already numb from sitting for almost 2 hours, so I decided to go outside and walk around Green Star Promenade. I was also hungry around that time because I only had a sliced of bread for breakfast, hence I bought a cup of froyo.

And after 3 hours of waiting... voila!

Fast-forward to the reception. 

My sister was having her pictures taken. So, it was just me and my iced coffee.

After her pictorial, I've already lost track of what my sister was doing. She was moving around all the time, goes to the girls room every-freaking 10 minutes, she was everywhere--she was literally roaming every inch of the venue. And she was wearing a 4-inch heels! It was crazy. But I think my sister was just trying to avoid me because I was kept on taking pictures of her and her friends. Well, I can't blame her. 

The Juniors wore red gowns with black accents, while the Seniors had to wear beige. Though, I saw a few Seniors who wore white and yellow gowns.

The 'gang'. My sister and her friends are quite crazy, but in a good way. They're loud, but not obnoxious. They're fun, but not to the extent where they get into trouble. They're pretty much the kinds of friends that I wanted for my sister.

This was the last picture I took when we were outside the reception area while I waiting for the program to start. This was the time where my sister gave me the look, the stop-taking-pictures-of-me-it's-annoying-and-please-stop-embarrassing-me look. Then she literally dragged me to my seat. She told me the program was about to start, and of course, she lied. And there I was, alone. Yet again. 

Parents were starting to arrive, so before the place get crowded, I took pictures of the whole reception area. Well, not really literally the whole entire area.

The calm before the storm.

The storm.

Table no. 1

Minutes after I took a video of my sister dancing her heart out, my bloody camera died.

Whoever own these pictures, please don't sue me for grabbing them. 

Most of the Seniors wore Grecian-inspired dress.

This is sort of a cougar thing for me to say, but I spotted plenty of good-looking boys out there. Nyorks.

The program was supposed to end at 12 midnight, but I begged my sister to come home early because I was already sleepy, and it was too late. In short, lola needs her sleep. And by lola I mean ME.

I wish my camera didn't died on me that night, I could have had taken a lot more pictures, especially when my sister and her friends were dancing on the dance floor. It was so much fun watching them having a good time.

Also, I wish my parents were also there to witness everything. Unfortunately, my mother didn't live to see this moment, but I know for sure she was watching my sister from up above--smiling. And as for our father, he's working in abroad. I know how much my father wanted to be on my sister's special day. But, there'll be next time. Hopefully, he could make it next year. Or, on her graduation day. That would be much nicer!  :)

Okay, 'till next time. Bye!

Prom: Part 1

It has been crazy these past few days. I’ve been out a lot. Yeah, I know. Shocking.

I’ve been scouting around the city, looking for a trusted salon and a dress shop. It’s not for me, if you’re wondering, it’s for my sister’s Prom. Luckily, we found her perfect dress—they already had her size measured and we need to go back again after 2 weeks. And I’ve already booked her salon appointment. So everything’s settled, as for now.

This is my sister’s first Prom experience and I want everything to be perfect—from head down to her feet. I never had a perfect Prom experience that’s why I’m doing all these for her.

I only had one Prom experience. Why only one? You’ll find that out later...

I remember, I wore a Chinese dress and I had my hair permed. I didn’t even wear a pair of high heels because I hated it, so I opted for flats. I had a geisha inspired make-up. Like, literally in-your-face-white-cakey-foundation make up . Also, no one, AS IN NOT ONE, asked me to dance. I was not even part of the cotillion. I was basically a miserable Wall Flower. I was just there staring at them while they’re dancing, having fun and making happy memories. I felt that night, like I was a part of a slow-motion movie. I wanted to go home so bad, but time seemed to move so slow. It was a dreadful night and I can’t believe I’m reliving it again. *facepalm* So yeah, that sums up my Prom experience. What a fond memory, right? Not.

See? Now you know why I wanted everything to be perfect for my sister. And in case, no one would ask her to dance, at least I know she have her circle of friends to dance with. They’re a fun group of friends anyways, so for sure they’re going to make it a fun experience, not only just for them, but for everyone in that room. And I’ll be taking pictures when that time comes! 

Oh, I almost forgot about the “you’ll find out later” thing. The reason why I only had one Prom experience is because they changed the time schedule for our last Prom. It was, if I’m not mistaken, 1 in the afternoon. I know, right? But there’s a bigger reason for that (I’m not involved with it, okay), and I’m not going to blog that one out. Just because.

Bye, for now! :)

Movie: Fruitvale Station

I’m still in utterly shocked. I just finished watching ‘Fruitvale Station’. It’s kind of hard to write right know, but I need to do it while I’m still emotionally attached to the movie.

This movie is a story about a guy named Oscar Grant. The movie follows Oscar’s last final day before he was wrongfully killed by a police officer in Fruitvale Station.

I already knew what’s going to happen. I already knew that he’s going to die. But what I didn’t know was the story behind it. And in this movie, in Oscar’s last final day, the director and writers showed a sheer story.

I really don’t want to spoil the movie so instead, I’m just going to tell you something about the actors’ performance.

Michael B. Jordan, he plays the main character. His acting was so raw, so real, that I almost felt like I was also there, standing in front of him, watching the whole thing. That’s how good his acting was, and that’s how effective he was. His character carries you through out the film and it was almost as if I was watching a 3D movie, but in more compelling way.

Octavia Spencer, she plays Oscar Grant’s mother.  I’ve seen her acting in the movie “The Help” before , and she was really, really good in that film. But, she was more impressive in this one. You know a good actor if she could deliver a character without trying too hard. And she wasn't trying in this film. I love the way her eyes stares, it’s like a vortex, you get sucked right into it. It’s crazy how she does it. One of my favorite parts of the film, and I think the most emotional and heartbreaking part, was when Octavia’s character saw his son’s body, lying on a cold-hard table, lifeless. I think that moment was the most powerful scene. Believe me when I say, I was crying the same time Octavia’s character was crying, it’s as if we’re doing a duet song. But in a wail, way.

Melonie Diaz, she plays as Oscar’s girlfriend and the mother to their 7-year old daughter. I think what she did in this film deserves a recognition. And I’m talking about an Oscar nomination for a supporting role. Her acting was so sincere and moving that it carried me, as a movie watcher, to her situation and pain.

And let’s not forget little Miss Ariana Neal, she plays as Oscar's daughter. She doesn’t really had a lot of frame shots, but what she did in the latter part of the film got me. She didn’t even had to say a single word. It was her eyes that’s acting.

This movie pretty much drained all my emotions, and I’m about to watch another drama movie. I’m doomed.

Make sure you’re emotionally prepared before watching this film, okay?

Bye, for now!

New Resolutions!

So, I’ve been contemplating on the things that I wanted to do/achieve for this year. Yes, you’re right. It’s my freaking New Year’s Resolution! Haha

I know, I know, we all have them. From saving up money to “I’m going quit smoking”, and losing weight to changing your behaviour, we all have our own lists. This year, I decided to make a list that involved OTHER things. I wanted to share it with you guys. Hopefully, this can inspire you to make your own new year’s resolution lists.

Some resolutions needs a little bit of explanation while others, well, they’re pretty much speaks for themselves. J

1.)  A Job –This year, my goal is to find a job. I had a really traumatic experience last year. I didn't get into the job I applied for. You know that feeling when someone told you, “I’m sorry, you could try again next time”, well, that exact moment happened to me. And in that moment, I felt like my knees took off and went straight to heaven--leaving me behind. It was depressing. But then again, life goes on. This year, I’m more determined to get a job. *wink*

2.)  Re-connect with some of my good friends – I don’t really have a lot of friends, well, I do know a lot of people—but only first name basis. When it comes to my circle of friends, I only have a few. Unfortunately though, some of my good friends right now, are all scattered around (here and abroad), but we do catch up once in awhile, with the use of facebook and skype.

I don’t have the money to fly abroad just to see my friends in person. But, I still have some friends left here. So I’m going to start visiting them, one by one. Okay, don’t get too excited. It’s not like I’m going to do this spontaneously. It needs some time and money. I’m just being honest here. Remember, I’m un-employed! (LOL) I wanted to start here (Dagupan), though. I studied in Dagupan City National High School for a year, and I did made some friends. Not really a lot, but you know what they say, “ quality > quantity”.(LOLJK) Anyways, I’m going to start planning. Maybe get their cellphone numbers on facebook, and we’ll see it from there. Wow. This is actually making me nervous.

3.)  Go out more –For those of you who doesn’t know me, personally. Well, I’m quite a homebody. It’s funny though because I was once, labelled a “party girl” before, because a friend of friend of a friend told this certain someone that I was this girl who loves going to the club. Which was not entirely true. There’s a reason behind all that and I don’t why they made it such a BIG issue. Don’t get me wrong though, remember, I was once a “party girl” (insert evil laugh here). I have had experienced some good fun, too. A girl also needs her booze fix, right? (LOL) But, I only do that occasionally like: after a gruelling exam, or when a friend invited me to this club (I don’t get a lot of invites, fyi), or when someone has a birthday and my presence is in dire need (LOL. Not really.) I wouldn’t say NO to that, wouldn’t you? I mean. It’s free booze, come on!

This year, I wanted to be more proactive. I wanted to go out, I’ve always wanted to read a book under a tree, or read a book while lying on a grass (minus the ants haha), meet new people, just small things that involves me and my idle feet. Fresh air, here I come!

4.)  Read more books this year! – Being a self-confessed bookworm I try to read as many interesting books in a year. I actually had a quota last year, but unfortunately, I failed.  The bookworm in me was sad. But this year, I will try to put a lot of effort and  time, save some of my allowance every month to buy a new, or maybe some second hand books from BookSale. I’m not really picky when it comes to book (it could be old, new, with or without cover), as long as it’s a good book. This saving-my-allowance thing will probably going to starve me to death, but... oh well, books are as good as food, anyway. Books give us good advice, books give us new ideas, and they let us exercise our imaginations. I love getting lost in a book. I love being drowned with so much feelings and emotions. Especially, when it’s my time of the month. (LOL) A good romantic novel plus me PMS-ing? It’s like adding fuel to the fire. Haha  So this year, I am promising myself a year filled with books.

5.)  Stay fit and eat more healthy food – Who am I kidding?

6.)  Make amends to the people I did wrong – I’m not really the type of person who’d say sorry just for the hell of it. And I’m not the type of person who’d say sorry, even if I know that I did nothing wrong, especially when I’m just defending myself for something that I didn’t do. I take pride of my ego. And I’m not ashamed to say that. But I know, along the way, I did hurt one or few people (which I’m not naming). And a sincere (personal) apology is the only way to make everything right. I’m still not going to say sorry to those who did me wrong, though. Nope. Not going to happen. I wish them a swell 2014, though. Because I'm a good person like that. (LOL)

7.)  And lastly, I’ll try to be more patient and more understanding, especially towards my sister. I feel sorry for being too hard on her last year and even last, last year. (LOL) But it’s just that I wanted only the best for her. I wanted her to learn from my mistakes, but she’s so hard-headed, she wouldn’t listen. I mean, I pretty much raised her and all. Can I, at least, have some respect I deserve? Scientifically, I’m blaming hormones. She’s at the peak of her puberty stage, angst everywhere. But, come on, sister, give your ate a break. Can you at least, take it down a notch? Hmmkay? Let’s talk later.

This is blog post is becoming a declaration of my family problems. I need to stop now. Haha

So, that’s it. It’s a short list, but I wanted it that way. Hope this list helped you guys with some of your resolutions. Have a wonderful year ahead, you guys! Have a blessed 2014!

Bye, for now! J

TV: My Mad Fat Diary

Sometimes, you find a show so funny, so poignant, so relatable, so nostalgic, and so good that you can’t help but tell everyone to jump on the bandwagon.

I was searching for a new TV series to watch and I found this British series, My Mad Fat Diary on tumblr. I watched the trailer on youtube first, and immediately I was hooked. Thank God, the series had already ended its first season so I was able to watch the whole series continuously.

The story was based on a real life diary about a teenage girl, with a mental health issues, named Rae Earl in 1996. The story also follows the lives of Rae’s friends (from the outside world), her mum, her friends from the psychiatric hospital, and mostly about the 90’s era.

I have cried a hundred of times on every episodes. And laughed with every thing that comes out from Rae’s state of mind, especially when she talks about boys.

hiya, Finn! ;)

This series showed so much realness. It wasn't too “dreamy”, It was real. It was so beautiful, yet, you get a little dose of pain along the way. This show made me realize that not all guys are shallow. You have to watch the series to know what I’m talking about. *wink*

This series holds a special place in my heart, right there beside Grey’s Anatomy and The Parenthood. I suggest you watch this series now because season two is just around the corner! :)

Bye, for now!

Happy 2014!

Hello, Happy New Year! What better way to start the new year than starting up a new blog. (LOL)

I seriously don’t know why I’m doing this again. I suck at this (blogging). But for some reason, every time the year ends, I always had this itch to blog, or start up a new blog. And then, eventually, forget about it the next day. But it’s different this year. I’m more determined to push this one through.

So anyways, again I’m back! I’ll try to post a lot more decent and interesting blog posts next time.

My tea’s getting colder. Bye for now! :)